A reintroduction is in order...  

Posted by ♥ Mina ♥




School is going okay... I'm having difficulties concentrating as there are so many activities, so many people, and so many interesting things going on. Right now I'm in the lovely library, shielding myself from the crowd in hopes of getting some work done, and I will let you know if that works. So far, it got me to read two pages of my History of Medicine book. In the meantime, my asthma returned a week ago, after about ten years of silence, added to that I have nasal polyps, the flu, AND a urinary tract infection. The cherry on top of the cake is that I have three midterms next week that I need to study for, hence why I am in the library ahora. 

I was thinking about me wanting to be a doctor, and the thought that maybe I am not meant to be one had crossed my mind. I love the health field but don't want to be like the nurses or other med techs that say that they wanted to be doctors but settled for what they're doing since it's "close enough." I think that in that case I might as well shoot for becoming a doctor. To me being something other than what you wanna be "just because" is like a lesbian being with a butch, I don't get it. If you like women and you have a craving for a woman that's the closest thing to a guy a woman will ever get, then you might as well find you the guy. Now if you fall in love, I will not criticize your choice, but don't go with a butch just because she resembles a guy. To me it defeats the purpose. If I were to ever be a lesbian, it would be because I love the softness of a woman, and I sure as hell won't be a butch so both of us will be feminine. Girls that like butch lesbians admit, by doing so, that the regular girl just won't cut it, that they crave someone "strong" and "masculine." I'm just saying, same with people who become nurses just because they feel it's close enough to being a doctor, just not with all the responsibilities and demands. Even those people fool themselves in making that choice. 

As the title says.... a reintroduction is in order, not from me to you, or vice versa but from me to me. Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? What am I doing with my life? Not many can answer these questions with certainty. We all have an idea of the answer but if there was one definite answer to each of these questions and you had to give them in order to save humanity, you'd crumble under the pressure and not be sure what to say. (Be honest with yourself). 

Do I want to be a doctor? Do I want to be memorizing every single bone and muscle in the human body? Do I want to be reading millions of pages about the trials and errors of medical operations? Do I want to be in labs for hours debating whether or not the patient is going to survive? Do I want the responsibility of a dead patient in my hands? Do I want to sacrifice a perfectly normal, slow paced family life over a crazy MD life? Do I want to spend over 10 more years in schools, studying theories, getting tested over and over and over again? Do I want to receive my first "career" paycheck in my thirties? Do I see myself being a doctor? Do I think I'm on the right path for it to begin with?

To be a doctor is different from any profession out there. Sure, pilots and drivers have people's lives in their hands, but it's different in that they also have to keep others safe as well as they are trying to keep their lives safe. When doctors save lives, it is done to exclusively save the lives of the patients in question. I can only imagine how great it feels for a doctor to have a  deep connection with their patients. It becomes more than just a job, more than just a duty, it becomes first nature to stand up for what is right and fight for your patient's life. A doctor never retires, is never on a break. A doctor, no matter what the specialty, should be trained in such a way that if he/she is stuck in a middle of nowhere with a guy that is dying, he/she will know what to do to reduce pain. 

Following on this theme is the poem "Doctor Meyers" by Edgar Lee Masters
"No other man, unless it was Doc Hill,
Did more for people in this town than I.
And all the weak, the halt, the improvident
And those who could not pay flocked to me.
I was good-hearted, easy Doctor Meyers.
I was healthy, happy, in comfortable fortune,
Blest with a congenial mate, my children raised,
All wedded, doing well in the world.
And then one night, Minerva, the poetess,
Came to me in her trouble, crying.
I tried to help her out -- she died --
They indicted me, the newspapers disgraced me,
My wife perished of a broken heart.
And pneumonia finished me."

I'm sure it's all worth it, but I'm just battling with whether or not it is the path that was made for me. 

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Green light  

Posted by ♥ Mina ♥

Classes are coming along fine. I am still pretty lost in History of Medicine but hopefully by the end of this day I can catch up, it can't be that hard. So far we've been to parties and to the Axe which is the common hang out place for Acadian students. Both were interesting experiences. People would get so drunk where they would go out in the snow in short, sleeveless dresses and not feel a bit of cold and afterwards drink some more and at the end of the night run off with a sexual partner. Others would simply get high all day long. The food in the cafeteria is basically hamburger, chicken fingers, fries, pizza and occasional rice with vegetables. 


Presently it is -14 degrees celsius while it is 26 degrees celsius in Nassau. Despite that, I am enjoying this weather. It feels good to be prepared, two layers of clothing with a solid coat seem to be enough to keep me going all day long. Ahmad just has on a hoodie and claims to be fine. (I know he is dying of cold). 

In other news, I've finally selected a car to drive. Took me a while but this is it. "It" of course can mean anything at this point. I just chose a person who I am actually romantically attracted to. The others, the attraction on my side just isn't there. Life is about risks, and taking chances. I feel like it would selfish of me not to allow myself to enjoy life and to deprive people from my love simply because I am scared to be broken-hearted. Maybe five years from now I will be calling this decision dumb but examining my future, my goals, and the kind of person I am now, I feel as if this is one of the best decisions I've made so far. I always loved being around him. I can be crazy, wild, talkative, quiet and no matter what, I am me, and he reads me like a book, more than anyone that "claims" to know me. We can be on the beach quiet for hours and still feel as though we're sharing an important moment. Then we could be arguing about why do birds do what they do, oppose each other for the longest, and at the end of the argument, smile both triumphant. We share the same humor, the same core values and there is no need for me to act like anything but me because that's all he expects. We've known each for almost 4 years now and we've been through a lot more than anyone can ever imagine. He was there through the biggest challenge in my life, the BIGGEST, no joke. The fact that he stayed by my side proved something to me. It was not easy, and if I were him, I would not have been that strong to withstand the storms that we faced. I am grateful to have him in my life. My thoughts are clear and I am glad that he feels the same. I guess it took me going away from him to realize how much we mean to each other. I am looking forward to April/May when we see each other again (God spares my life). All the signs that I've seen/heard lately are connecting, they now make sense. This car has the GREEN LIGHT and is ready to go. Vroom VROOM...

1 comments »

Hot, hot, hot  

Posted by ♥ Mina ♥

Is it hot in here or is it just me? 


So I am in Wolfville, and for those of you that do not know where it is, you're not the only one, but if it helps it is in Nova Scotia, which in turn is in Canada. CANADA! Yep, I made it. I will go exploring soon enough to know my surroundings, but for now I'm still trying to keep up with my classes, because everyone seems to have something that tells them what to do prior to the class and I'm finally getting it. 

So the trip was pretty dramatic, from my mum feeling really lonely, to a few cars threatening to break down, one actually broke down in front of me, how dare he, I mean it... how dare it? To not sleeping in New Jersey... at all, just talking all night, getting to know each other, to experiencing the first flood of cold smashing against our faces, to flying over Canada and seeing all the snow covering the lands, to being stuck on the plane for 45 mins waiting for the airport to clear the way for us to station, to having terrible cramps, to being stuck at Immigration because of not having any letter of acceptance from our prospective universities, to not seeing our ride to Acadia, to finally getting there and not having our ID properly activated, to fighting against the snow and to going into my class that night and the door was locked, to finally entering the class and fighting sleep, to reaching into my room and finally sleeping. 

Now I am learning to adapt to the cold, it's not that bad yet. I was told that it gets worse as time goes by. All I am looking forward to doing some skiing, building a snowman, making snow angels, and enjoying my classes. French seems okay, the majority already speak it fluently, so I'm totally having fun! Cell biology seems like it will be a lot of work, and so does History of Medicine (it is, after all, history... :S ). I'm  headed into latin in a bit so I will let you know how that goes, but I heard that the professor is extremely boring but I will see for myself. My dorm room is a single bed, and I met my RA last night, her name is Nancy, I had to repeat it over and over again in order to remember. She's Chinese, and lives two doors away. The bathroom is facing my room, so it's pretty awesome. 

I thank God for this opportunity and I am EXTREMELY  grateful to be here, despite the cold and other minor issues that I  have encountered. I will not, and I repeat, I will not let anything nor anyone stop me from enjoying my stay here at Acadia. So for those of you struggling with the cold like me, suck it up. And for those of you who are wondering when the cafeteria will serve food worthy of being eaten, again suck it up. 

This, my friends, is gonna be good.

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